Happiness – Deserved and Undefinable

Everyone deserves to be happy. Me. You. My best friend. My worst enemy. (Not that I really have one… but you get my drift.) No matter what our personal opinion of one another is, or how they rate on the universal karma/awesome/’good person’ scale; everyone deserves a slice of peachy, happiness pie. Why? Well why not? We are all plodding along in this world together, so we should all get the opportunity to do it with a smile. However being equal yet individual, it’s important to remember that one person’s idea of happiness may be very different from another. Happiness doesn’t discriminate.

When you close your eyes and think of ‘happy’ what do you see? I bet it’s vastly different from the rapid slide show that flashes before my sleepy eyelids.  For me happiness is:

My daughter.

My husband.

Laughing, playing.

Our home, our garden.

Tea.

Fresh Fruit. Fresh Bread

And SUSHI!

More tea. Lots of tea.

Friends coming to visit with lots of squealing laughter.

And rest. Quiet time.

And sleep.

Nice scents all around me.

Massages.

All of this in abundance.

That’s my happiness slideshow.

I can hear choruses of ‘boring’, ‘cheesy’, ‘corny, ‘lame’.  But you know what?  That’s me and those are the things that make me happy. For others it may be a fast pace 60 hour work week and a different restaurant every right, with clinking glasses, the buzz of chatter and exciting delicacies.  It might be the thrill of closing a deal and seeing dollar signs in your eyes, planning your next travel adventure, your next DIY home improvement project – trip to Bunnings and all. Or building a business empire, a community group or fundraiser, learning an instrument, or getting a degree. It could be absolutely anything! And that’s wonderful. Whatever gives you those smiles and that inner warmth is absolutely perfect because it’s your happiness and no one else’s.

Sometimes we take a glimpse at someone else’s life and think – ‘they don’t seem very happy’. Perhaps that’s because they are not living your idea of happiness. I think it’s important to take a second longer look and make the distinction before coming to any conclusions.

None of us are happy all the time. It’s not possible – life brings challenges. We all seem to want to reach this ‘destination happy’.  As we strive to get there it’s important to enjoy the journey.  We all change all the time. And so does our idea of happiness.  5 years ago, my list above would have been completely different. Perhaps the only common items would be husband and sushi!  When life starts feeling difficult and the smiles are fewer and the destination seems further, sometimes it’s good to check in with ourselves and ask ‘is the destination still where I really want to go?’ It’s a confronting question. If it’s a resounding ‘yes’, then in my experience, it usually just means you’ve hit a rough patch. You will wade through it soon enough with the help of tea, tears, (perhaps chocolate and some terrible television) and some good old fashioned hard work. Your ‘destination happy’ will be waiting for you at the other end. If that ‘yes’ doesn’t roll off the tongue so easily, perhaps there’s some re-evaluating to do. Sometimes we keep ploughing headfirst towards things because they are familiar or decided even when deep down they are not what we really want. Funnily enough the remedy here is similar: tea, tears, (perhaps some chocolate and terrible television)… but this time some soul searching is required to decide if it’s time to change paths to a different ‘destination happy’. You decide where your smiles lie.

Life is short and long all at once. Whichever way you look at it it’s worth being happy during its course. We all have goals and ideals we want to reach which is wonderful and inspiring – it’s what drives us to be enriched and fulfilled. They are our image of happiness. Just make sure they are affording you a slice of sweet happiness pie of cake or frittata along the way (whatever takes your fancy). It’s the present where you experience your smiles (and fill your belly). And as you enjoy your chosen happiness delicacy, look around and acknowledge that those around you may be enjoying their happiness too – it just looks a bit different.  Cheers x

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